"Bella" the mother

October 15, 2020

An orphan from the barrio, who lived and survived from the help of close relatives. Found a fitting job until she got married and settled down, had 3 fine-looking normal kids, and shaped a typical pastoral family.

To me, my most ideal depiction of my mother is that she is “customary”.

A mother who doesn’t know how to cook simply because she is too occupied with the condition of her taxing job. She got sick in fact because of too much exposure to numerous hospital patients that she was attending. So luckily, she recovered from that illness and got back to work until she retired with flying colors. During those early years though, my mother once in a while proudly presented at least to me a special dish she told me she learned from her “lolo”. “Ginisang saging na saba”.

She taught me how to play “mah-jong” that I later realized my father is so addicted to it that I frequently, upon my mother’s advice asked him to break off and go home. Thank God, I never did enjoy playing “mah-jong”.

There was no single time I heard my mother telling me about serious things like aspirations, change, and adaptation precisely because as I understood it….she is traditional.

All three of us her children grew up, with different sensitivities based on what we have learned from our own personal experiences. Different perspectives, different opinions but with a common premise: making our lives right and proved that what we believed in will bring us forth to our objectives.

After my father’s death….we treated my mother the way we think is best for her. I found out that it is her inclination to be living independently. We gave it to her. And so there she was……a “traditional” person living her life by her preferences. I see her making her loudest laugh with her friends during meetings. Enjoying her personal-designed clothes intended for some parties or balls. Getting out of the house almost every day for numerous prayer meetings and novenas her legionary group is doing or some senior citizen activities for which she was one of the principal movers.

Being independent provided her with great advantage of staying healthy and strong. She defied aging. At the age of 84, she is still doing her own laundry, getting household chores done by herself, buying her food requirements, and finally, knows how to cook that she enjoys eating.

This “traditional” mother, unknowingly by chance gets acquainted with us her children.

Nagawa mo naman ang gusto mo nanay. At hinayaan ka namin na ganon. Sana’y tingnan mo kami mula sa iyong kinaroroonan ngayon. Kung may mali sa aming gagawin o ginagawa…..bulungan mo sana kami nang kami’y mapaalalahanan. Sa tuwina, nasa inyo pa rin ang pribelehiyo ng isang mabuting ina sa kanyang mga anak. Mula sa kinaluluklukan mo ngayon, gabayan mo kami kung kinakailangan.